To all the men who think I am too pushy.
Consider what it’s like to be a woman right now. When abortion laws are being challenged. When every unwanted pregnancy is due to male ejaculation, but women bear the brunt. To be a mother right now. To have shed your own life blood to give rise to another human, who you quickly realize you cannot protect, despite your wiring to do nothing but. At this time on the planet, when destruction and violence are on every corner. When our children are in concentration camps, disappearing into sex trafficking arenas and shot in schools.
To be a woman and visit the ocean, and feel profound grief at the loss of important creatures that sustain all life. When you feel the ocean like it is the blood of your own womb, because it is where we come from and where we return to.
To be a woman. Expected by societal standards to be soft, yielding and vulnerable. Yet to survive we need to be warriors. Warriors of the systems that oppress most of us. Warriors of the patriarchy and how it lives in ourselves, our homes and all around us in ways that many of us are still blind to.
I am exhausted by the system that requires my yielding to validate the male ego and at the same time requires me to do more, more, more to have the same rights and privileges as men, or to simply survive.
In the rise of feminism and the concurrent growth of capitalism, women are asked too much of. Now we make money AND still do so much to keep our homes and all the people taken care of. So much of what we do is invisible, unappreciated and expected.
I would give anything to be able to yield into my own softness. Until then, I will push when I need to. I will push against structures that oppress. I will push against the men I love who are blind to the privilege of being a man.
And hope and pray to find the pockets of places where I can be soft.