Why does sex hurt, and what can help?
Pain with sex is common, especially in perimenopause, after giving birth, and for women with a history of pelvic pain or trauma, and it is not something you have to push through. It can come from pelvic floor muscles that hold tension, from vaginal dryness as hormones shift, from scar tissue, or from a body that has learned to brace. I’m Chaya Leia Aronson, RN, BSN, a registered nurse and pelvic health practitioner in Haydenville, Western Massachusetts, near Northampton. I lived with chronic pelvic pain and painful sex myself, and I help women find their way back to comfort and pleasure.
What painful sex can feel like
- “Penetration is painful.”
- “It hurts in certain positions.”
- Burning or stinging at the entrance
- A deep ache during or after sex
- Bracing before sex even starts, because you expect it to hurt
Doctors may call this dyspareunia. Burning pain at the vulva is sometimes called vulvodynia.
Common reasons sex starts to hurt
- A pelvic floor that holds tension and doesn’t fully let go
- Dryness and thinner tissue as estrogen drops in perimenopause
- Changes and scar tissue after birth
- Bladder conditions such as interstitial cystitis
- Endometriosis
- A body that learned to protect itself after trauma
How I work with painful sex
Everything we do is consent-led. You set the pace. Internal work through Holistic Pelvic Care™ can be very helpful for painful sex, and it only happens if your body is a full yes. I can also teach you to work with your own pelvis through self pelvic massage. Alongside the bodywork, we look at breath, your nervous system, hormones, dryness and the stories your body is carrying.
“Up to this point, I had only ever had painful sex. … I enjoy sexual vitality and vigor as I never have before.” CM
How do you want to live into your next phase of life?
This work is for you if:
- You're navigating pelvic pain, hormonal change, or nervous system overload
- You're in midlife, or any transition - and done being told you're broken
- You want care that works in real life, not just on Instagram
- You're ready to come back into your body - without pressure to fix yourself
- You've tried the clinical route and the "woo" route and felt unseen by both
Book your free clarity call to begin the shift from dis-ease and discomfort to empowered health, vitality and pleasure in your body.
Claim Your Body, Claim Your Power
When should I see my doctor?
Please see your doctor if pain with sex is new, if you bleed after sex, or if you have unusual discharge, sores, or fever. I often work alongside gynecologists, pelvic floor physical therapists and therapists.
Questions women ask me
Is the internal work optional? Yes. It is often helpful, and it is only helpful when you are ready.
Can my partner be involved? Sometimes, and only if you want that. Your safety and your sense of choice come first, so we talk it through together before deciding.
Do you work with trauma? My work is trauma-aware. If you are in active crisis or need immediate support, I will help you find the right therapist or medical care first.
Is it covered by insurance? I don’t bill insurance. Some HSAs cover sessions.
Start here: book a free clarity call.
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